Boy decided to spend a quiet day with me dozing on his Dad's blanket while I tried to find a comfortable position to work in. BB has apparently wedged his head between my pelvis, making it increasingly difficult to sit more than 10 minutes or to find an acceptable sleeping position.

Boy's ear has been looking a little mangled again, probably because of stress, and I caught Tux and Buffy chasing him last night. I thought the quiet workday would suit the two of us better. He seems very at peace today, especially after I gave him another small portion of wheatgrass to eat.

It looks like it may rain today.

Last night we bought some wheatgrass from NTUC on the advice of the kids's Aunty Mini. It looked suspiciously like the type of grass we used to retrieve for Boy back when we lived near my Mom, although their Dad said it wasn't.

This evening, Boy took one sniff of it today and chomped a whole lot down. Kaku came to sniff it curiously but was too shy to stay and eat. I left some on her plate. Dunno if she ate it up. The 3 Naughties sniffed too but were not enticed to eat it.

Looks like Boy has a monopoly over the bag of wheatgrass. :D

Which door would you pick?

(Source: Bad Astronomy)

The concept has always been a bizarre one to me, as natural as it is to most other people. Intellectually I know it isn't quite creating something out of nothing, emotionally it is another story. All these years I have been a parent to those already alive. Often I lie awake wondering what the hell am I doing bringing another (human) into this existence.

I used to have a list somewhere in the bloody old files of my brain that cited reasons why people have children: meaning to life, narcissism (a mini-me would be nice), someone to love you when you're old and have no more hair, and someone to take care of you when you are old and have no more hair. I can safely say I am having a child for the first three reasons but I do hope that I'll always have hair.

One more: to have something that is part of me live on.

Okay, okay. Nothing will live on forever... somewhere along the line, the genetic line will break because someone decided not to reproduce, got drowned in the rising sea levels, or got shot in the head or something. Or even if they live that long, at the rate the space program is going, the sun will supernova by the time we get around to building the first dang ship.

Or even if we head out to deep space and occupy the universe, the increasingly expanding space will render space travel almost impossible (unless we can start controlling wormholes - and then there is the unpredictability of wormholes - may get squished while one opens and closes as it pleases).

Or if the other peeps are right, the singularity after the universe contracts, will crush us all. The only hope is if we can escape into another dimension before the final crunch. Hah... tiny probability my gene pool will make it that far.

Anyhow, even if that happens, what does it matter? I'll be long dead - my consciousness won't be preserved that long. Even stored in a quantum chip, I'd be bored shitless.

Mm... okay maybe not this one.

Where was I?

That's the problem with these late night rantings... the point is usually lost.

Oh yeah, becoming a mother.

Well, the other part of me that has reconciled with my mortality has decided that it is a life experience I do not want to miss. Life is really short and it is up to me to savour what there is to savour during my brief moment here.

I will raise my son to have courage, hope, and compassion. Yeah, it is a pretty lofty ideal but I do know what sort of person I hope he will be: a happy person, a strong person, and a man of integrity.

Poor Sam freaked out when my 3 year-old niece came over to visit the cats (plus the rest of the human family). He is generally scared of visitors in the house but this time, I forgot that the door exiting the living room was closed.

He remained hidden for the longest time while Tux tried to be hospitable to a little girl who kept calling him Cat. Boy did some PR as well but then got bored and went to nap. Buffy, oddly enough got daunted by the commotion and stayed away.

We did our best to teach Kaitlyn how to let the cats smell her fingers first, then gently pet them. I thought it was a great opportunity to let her enjoy the joys of living with cats and also prepare the cats for the addition of a new human child in the family. There must have been too many people in the living room as even the most sociable cats seemed to shy away.

Out of nowhere Sam suddenly appeared, darted around the room several times and ran into the glass door (no breakage of glass thankfully for him) twice with loud thuds. His Dad opened the study door and he sped out.

We hunted him down after the visitors left and found that he had some random light bleeding around where the circumference of where the bridge of his nose is. It stopped fairly quickly but I worry about internal damage.

Other than being rather shaken, he seems fine now. I'll continue to monitor him.

I've been spotting for the past 2 days and although the hub says I should be fine, nothing is conclusive till my check-up on Monday. Good news is that work has been crazy busy but we're doing well. It's been a stressful week. Winding up a campaign and setting up a new one with no break in between is a challenge.

Sleep has been an absent friend. I've been having weird but vivid dreams and then waking up. Feels like I haven't slept for days. My legs and bum gets numb when I sit/sleep too long on them, and BB kicks violently almost all day and definitely all night. He must take after his mother.

The cats have been re-sorting out their territory. I guess their Dad was right about me messing up their territorial differences when I brought Boy into the bedroom to sleep with us. Although Tux, Buffy, and Sam jumped into the foray, they seem to be a little balanced with Boy since he hasn't had 'bedroom privileges' for over a week. He simply hasn't been interested to come in.

Buffy and Sam are now battling it out. Sam just howled for a whole 5 minutes while batting his sister. I've noticed them swatting at each other. Minor skirmishes between Tux and Boy, Buffy chasing Boy, and Sam trying to keep Boy out of the kitchen still happen, but less so now.

I've noticed Sam finding more refuge in Kaku lately. Sam and Kaku on top of the fridge (once Tux and Kaku, which was real cute), Sam and Kaku on the dryer, Sam and Kaku lying side by side as they did when they were kittens and watching TV from the rug next to my easel. Sam and Kaku (and Tux) lying on the bed during the day.

Although Sam and Tux still have that special relationship, I think Sam is still finding himself. He's still really young at 2 years old and I expect the skirmishes will die down when he hits 3.

Boy seems more at peace these few days, quite content (and undisturbed) lying on his couch head.

Kaku, more confident, joins us in the living room to watch TV and play with her sibs. She even asks for more hugs and pets when she sees me. :)

All five cats come in to look at me curiously once in a while while I prop myself up to read or lie in bed nursing my aching legs and back. Then they do their cat thing and just hang out with me. It is comforting.

Boy's been pretty stressed lately. Buffy, Sam, and even Tux have been taking swipes at him. Their Dad says it is because he has been given the "privilege" of sleeping at night with us and the three are jealous. These days he only comes out to lie on his couch when I am around. :( I hope this resolves soon...

On an funny note, I have caught Boy and Tux on separate occasions staring at my huge tummy, as if wondering why their Mom has gotten so fat. Hehe!

Tonight, the Five Cats' Dad bought a small pack of durians for his personal consumption but the moment Boy smelt it, he hounded his poor Dad till he relented and gave him some. Buffy and Tux joined the foray and soon the packets with the eaten seeds were placed on the floor and Boy ousted the rest to lick up the rest. Sam attempted to have some but failed. Kaku must have been at the back as she missed all the excitement. Anyway, there wasn't enough to go round this time. :(

You see, Boy has a long history with durians. Since he was a kitten, he loved sitting beside his Mom eating durian while they still lived with his Grandparents. Boy's Granddad would cut open the durians and distribute it to all the human family members while Boy, the human cat (that's what he thought of himself) would get small pieces from his Mom's hand and got to lick the remaining bits from her fingers when she was done. For the first time, Boy's Grandma didn't complain about feeding Boy human food as she was quite impressed a cat would actually like durians!

Many years later, with his Mom and Dad and new siblings around the familiar durian pile on newspaper spread out all over the floor, he didn't hesitate. The other Four Cats were perplexed at this pungent smelly fruit. But slowly one by one they sniffed and licked and wow... the smelly fruit was nice... Since that day, whenever their Dad buys a few durians back and lays out the newspaper on the ground, all the Five Cats will sit around and wait for their Mom and Dad to finish eating their share and then pass some around for all the cats to enjoy. :D

I have decided to journal my adventures in Ancaria.

Currently in Silver and travelling with my immortal companions, my faithful steed Spotty and my friend Wilbur, we journeyed from Crow's Rock Castle to Wolfdale, which is en route to Icecreek Dale, our next destination.

After we saved the tax money for the Mayor, retrieved a ring for a little girl, helped a ghost, and found the remains of a poor woman's husband, the kind Mayor gave us a nice discount at the local store. I bought Spotty some cool new togs. Doesn't he look grand?

Me and Spotty with his new togs



My friend Wilbur



My current stats


We will take a short rest before heading up north to the frosty region of Icecreek Dale.