I painted tonight after a long time. I changed some colours of my Tuxie painting - it looks more surreal yet realistic now. Less severe, more earthy. As I look at it from a distance, I think I like it. I doubt I'd ever be a famous painter but at least I'd have made something for my wall that is personal and belongs to me.

I just noticed paws on the door, near the top next to Boy's photo. Really very near the top leading down. It looks like Buffy (larger paws) somehow climbed up to the top of the door and scurried down.

There is a time when you interact with someone else and you are either better for it or worse. When it is the latter, it is a terrible feeling to live with. I have learnt to live with it and lose myself in other things.

My hands are now full of paint. I was never meant to have pretty manicured fingers anyway.

I truly doubt I will be sleeping again tonight.